I'm an 18 year old girl from the USA who is terrified of adulting and college tuition bills.Ask me anything Submit
whoever invented cramps is an asshole
ur an 18 year old boy
NOT JUST FEMALES GET CRAMPS WTF I GOT CRAMP IN MY FOOT FROM ALL THE SEX I’VE NOT BEEN HAVING OKAY CRAMPS DONT JUST HAPPEN IN THE LADY POCKET REGION OR WHATEVER
the lady pocket region
- author: she didn't want to eat dinner because she doesn't like chicken noodle soup
- english teacher: even though it doesn't say it, we can infer that 17 years ago she encountered an attack from chickens while on a trip to africa visiting her great aunt who was dying from pneumonia which she got from chickens that were being harvested for the great feast
- tumblr: lol fukin stupid teacher
- loki: blinks
- tumblr: do you see this? do you see that blink? that fucking blink. it shows how much pain he has inside of him. look at him. all he wants is his father to love him. look at the tears that he is holding back. he's never been the favorite son, he always knew that he didn't belong. this is the fucking blink that makes me love loki. he's not a villain. he's just a scared, lonely child.
- (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
- Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
- Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
- Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
- Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
- Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
- (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
- Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
- (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
- Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
- Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
- Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
- (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
an artist is stranded on a desert island alone and decides to pass the time by drawing. less than a minute after they take out a sketchbook, one lone person washes up on the island and desperately says “oh my god you can draw can you draw me”
The artist now has food
No but can you just imagine Mrs Weasley getting to the magical afterlife one day and the first thing she sees is a girl with red hair sprinting towards her.
For a fleeting moment she thinks it’s Ginny, but as the girl comes closer she recognises the kind smile and the emerald eyes that are shining with tears. It’s Lily Potter.
Lily pulls Mrs Weasley into a tight hug and can only whisper three words before dissolving into tears.
"Thank you, Molly."
what do you mean not everyone has a toilet that washes and massages your butt
Wait there are toilets like that?
what an incredible experience it must be
im mildly concerned about something labeled “turbo” going near my butt